He's Baaaaack!

Gage decided to open the door to the deck and escape yesterday when we were all out on the deck. I didn't notice it at first, but when I did I told the kids (who were in the pool) to get out and find some shoes and we would go look for him. By the time I found everyone's shoes and put them on, Faith had gone out to the backyard and said "Mrs. Strickland said he's over there." He was two houses down walking along the canal. Yes, the one with alligators. So we called and of course he didn't come. We chased him down to the end of the street (dead end) through all of my parents neighbors' yards. At the end of the street, he crossed and went to the neighbors' backyards across the street. Two houses down, Janette (aka Mrs. Strickland) found him........SWIMMING THE CANAL! This is a dog that HATES the water with a passion. The neighborhood is kind of like fork prongs with canals running down the streets along everyone's backyards so that they all have access to Deerpoint lake. So he swam across the canal with me yelling at him the whole time, kids in tow, in their lifejackets, sandals, and Grace actually only had on a pair of panties in addition to her vest and sandals. All this time, I'm thinking "well, it wouldn't be so bad if an alligator swam up and took him down right now, except that my children are watching and that might traumatize them." So, now he's in the backyard of the neighbors across the canal, which means the next street over with a busy road linking them. Off we all go back to the house, put the kids in the car, take the lifevests off, strap everyone into their respective seats, go in and find the keys blah blah blah. I figure by the time we get over to the next street he will be 5 streets over and I'm home free. We drive down the next street looking between all the houses (I should mention here that I had to have "the talk" about the possibility of him lying on that busy road, dead to the kids on the way out of the driveway. Faith seems to be able to handle just about anything as long as it's not a surprise.) Okay, now we're on the next street looking between all the houses. One of the backyards has some caged hunting dogs which is where he crossed the canal to get to them. I listened for those dogs still going crazy and they seemed to have subsided a bit. I pulled into someone's driveway, got out and went as far as I could by the house still having the car with my children inside in sight. I saw him two more houses over trotting down that canal away from the dogs. Back into the car, follow the road along the canal. It is also a dead end with a curve to the left. We went to the end and waited for him to emerge. Never did. Well, I am certainly not leaving my babies in the car to go look for this dog, so I tell them he is going to find a new family to live with and would be fine. They took that well, I texted R "dog gone" and started to drive home. When I got to the end of the road (I'm still on the next street over) here come the Stricklands flashing their headlights. I stop, they have come to help with doggy treats and their own dog's leash in hand. (nosy do gooders) The Sticklands are the retired couple that live next door to my parents. They are dear friends that we all treasure, but come on, already! I turn the car back around to follow them because I can't let them go looking for my dog without helping. By the time we get back down there, the hunting dogs are going ballistic again. We all stop, Hank (Mr. Stickland) gets inside the outer fence of these people's yard and goes chasing after him. At this point in the story I must pause again to let you know that Mr. Strickland is in his 70's and HAS A WOODEN LEG! So, with Janette there to watch the kids I go help him because anyone that knows Gage, knows that he is NOT coming to someone calling his name. Hank finally traps him in a corner, gives him a treat and slips the leash onto his collar. Now we have to get out of the fence, that I jumped to get in with the dog and the elderly man with the wooden leg in tow. Fortunately they didn't have the best "security" and we found our way out. By this time I am so mad at this dog AND I have to lift his sorry ass into the back of the Sequoia because he's now too old to jump in by himself. Yeah, not to old to jump off a retaining wall, swim a canal and scale the opposing wall and hill 20 minutes before....He may never leave his kennel except to go to the bathroom again. I wouldn't let him out then except that then I would be the one that had to clean out his excrement. Oh, and two, he needs ANOTHER bath because he swam the canal! This was yesteday. Today the kids and I went to the beach and had a blast. We are going back tomorrow. More then