The babies and I went to the Planetarium yesterday at the local Community College. They actually have a sweet set up with the planetarium, the observatory, a science exhibit hall, an astronaut memorial and an IMAX where they show all kinds of educational nature type movies. I guess the "Space Coast" should have at least one cool place like this. So, we went to the Wednesday matinee show (the planetarim show, not the movie) It was just us and some retirees. Very low key. For some reason, which TOTALLY escapes me:), they didn't look all that happy to see us. Lots of you have asked me how it is going out with the kids here. It's like you envision a town packed with grandparents ooing and ahhing all over them, all the while pinching cheeks and such.....Well, not so much. Don't get me wrong. Most are friendly enough, but there is a reason they have all chosen to move here, thousands of miles away from their own grandkids. Church is really the only place we get genuine grandparent happiness to see us.
But, I digress. So, the show starts with a prelim given by the local "astronomy professor" of the current night sky, some constellations, isn't our set up great, yada yada, thanks for your tax dollars. (oh wait, he never REALLY said that) It's true, you DO start to turn into your spouse after so many years........that was totally an R comment.
So, while he's talking, he thanks everyone for coming out........those in school, those too young (my kids) to be in school, and those out. So, clearly he thinks all three of them are too young to be in school. While in the Orion constellation we get some star name trivia which, and I quote, "the kids will appreciate" One of the stars is named Betelgeuse. (Beetlejuice) Now, this man thinks A. My children are all too young for school and B. They have seen the movie Beetlejuice! To be honest, I have never seen all of Beetlejuice, but what I do know of it, there's no way my kids have seen this movie at their ages! Mine in particular might never sleep again. DISCLAIMER: If you have a 3 yr. old that has seen Beetlejuice, do NOT hurry to the end of this blog in some big rush to extole it's virtues in some outraged defense of your poor parenting. The name of the blog is Deana's Diatribe, not " Deana's open forum to discuss your views and opinions". Just hit the red X in the corner, unfriend me, then go find your kids who are probably playing in the knife drawer right about now.
So, back to astronomy guy. A few minutes later, he shows us his fancy computer graphics by making it look like we are on some space roller coaster......again, with a prelude of how the kids will like this...Excuse me, but my kids aren't even tall enough to ride a roller coaster! Much less some huge one like he's up there simulating! My guess is astromomy guy has zero experience with children under 18....ya think?
Moving onto to the latest gossip. I believe my pool lady to be a "player". Yes, I said pool lady. R squashed my hopes of some sweet S FL latio pool boy...........bah humbug!
But back to Shelia. Her "helpers" change so often that even the kids have started noticing. F said to my yesterday. "Wow, the pool lady sure does have a lot of helpers! She must need a lot in case someone gets sick" Yes my sweet baby, like some sort of chlorine induced epidemic...."
I am envisioning Shelia going out; picking up the night before, then asking her latest conquest to join her for the day after a nice leisurely breakfast in bed. You might be asking "WTH, Deana, you were just complaining that R wouldn't let you get some eye candy to clean the pool" Well, you see, Shelia is not only a lesbian, but a very masculine one that you wouldn't even guess to be a woman did you not know her name was Shelia! And her tastes? Well, let's just say that Shelia likes what Shelia sees in the mirror.
So, how do I feel about this? Appalled? intrigued? Jealous? I haven't really decided yet, but right now I should really stop being so overly involved in my lesbian pool cleaners life and go find those kids.
"Hey! You kids, get out of that knife drawer and go watch Beetlejuice, would ya?"
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